Proteas choke on humble pie

Last night I stayed up way past my bed time to watch South Africa choke yet again in a tournament where they were once again labelled as favourites.

England defy Smith to reach semis

This was a huge surprise to me, because they have just come from a very successful off season:

Graeme Smith won a pie eating contest at the county fair
Jacques Kallis came second on "Biggest Loser"
Wayne Parnell beat the rest of his family at "Hungry Hippos" two weeks ago

With the biggest success coming from AB de Villiers, who successfully applied for Telkom ADSL and got it set up at his house in under three months.

The Proteas went into the ICC's Champion's Trophy proclaiming far and wide that they are invincible and that not even a team full of Australians can knock them down.

However, they didn't expect the wise Garysutra to come onto the scene (no pun intended) with his R-rated coaching techniques. Garysutra is currently coaching the Indian team, but this hasn't stopped the English from learning a thing or two from him, like the part about "winners bonk before a match". In that lesson, Garysutra was said to have taught his Indian team how shagging and winning go hand in hand.

Up till now the English have only played like wankers, but after Garysutra's teachings began to spread throughout the world, the decided to change their approach and they have since become wankers. The proof is in the pie... Swann Pie as some people are saying.

So for now I'd simply like to say well done to the Poms for showing that they do in fact have the balls to defend a score against a good side. They batted quite well and we bowled quite badly, then after the break, we batted OK while they bowled well.

All I can say is that the Tests at the end of year will be really great to watch. I hope Strauss can get himself a thicker helmet though.

I'm trying hard not to be a bitter old fart about us being kicked out of a tournament we should have won.