Ashes test number one completed.

I quote myself from The Straight Drive Past the 'Keeper" group on Facebook:

"A completely gutless performance from England to draw the test. An absolute bunch of tossers. I'm not really keen on praising them for trying their best to draw a match heading for defeat. They throw away their wickets way too easily and they don't have any imagination with the ball.


The Aussies are under strength, but they made them look like world champions. I'd like to say, that if this Aussie team was to square up against a *REAL* test playing country like SA, they would have been killed."

Indeed. They played like a bunch of tossers. I didn't watch the game, but I followed it on the internet and I'm rather glad I didn't expend effort towards watching the game, because I would have probably died. If I actually watched the first test, I would probably have been able to put together more of an accurate opinion about the whole thing, instead of pulling comments out of my butt like this... which is probably where the selectors get their names for the squad.

How can a team be praised for playing for and achieving a DRAW?! What has become of the English?

"Yay! We didn't win, but at least we managed to play for a draw. Maybe the next match we'll be able to give them a bit more of a go, but if that doesn't work, then we can always go for another draw."

My dad taught me this : "If you didn't win, then you lost".

Why do English cricketers lack the balls to put up a fight? We all built them up and tipped them for a win in the first test, but they rather opted to play like duds. There is no sense of pride in their game. They show no enthusiasm in the field and they lack imagination with the ball. And I don't know why, but they also don't seem keen on staying out in the middle for long when they're batting. Maybe they were all rushing to go watch "East Enders"? Perhaps the selectors should keep their eyes on "Britain's Got Talent", just in case a cricketer shows up on there.

I'm hoping that this first test would have made them realise that they are lacking quite a lot in the strategy department and will arrive at Lords with a fresh set of plans. Or maybe they'll arrive at Lord's with some plans (you have to start somewhere).

I predicted an Ashes trophy in the English cabinet this year, so you tossers better start playing proper cricket or else I'll personally kick each and every English arse that shows up at Durban at the end of the year.

You've been warned.